Respect and when it breaks down

"We are entitled to respect as humans. We are not, however, owed unquestioned obedience. To warrant continued respect, we must first treat others fairly and with kindness, compassion, and understanding."

                               C.M. Townsend 

Let me start by saying, I am all for setting expectations and limits. I believe having rules and boundaries are vital in creating an environment, a situation, a society which works for everyone. I agree with 'actions have consequences'.

What I don't agree with is that because someone is a teacher or a parent, people believe they are inherently owed respect. Now, again, I'm not saying disrespect teachers or parents. What I am saying is that respect goes both ways. If you want respect, you need to give it.

It is all about give and take.

Why should a child or student respect a teacher who mistreats them? Why should they accept being abused and bullied by someone, merely because they are older, gave birth to them, or have a qualification to teach?

Imagine it was you.

Would you accept someone locking you out of a room, and then expecting you to know what happened in that time? Would you accept being yelled at and blamed for something out of your control? Would you accept someone mistreating you, demeaning you, shaming you at all, let alone in front of others?

Or, would you stand up for yourself? What if it were a friend? Family member? Co-worker? Would you permit it to be done to them, or would you step up and call it out? Would you stand up for them?

Silence breeds violence.

Silence breeds injustice.

Silence breeds inequity.

If people were to stay silent and follow every rule without challenge, we would still be living in a world where oppression, racism, discrimination, and sexism were common practice and unquestioned. Wars from years ago would still be occuring. With that in mind, there are still many inequities, injustices, and human rights violations occuring daily that need to be called out. Whether seemingly small or not, they must not be accepted.

The point of life is to enjoy yourself. There is no universal 'right' way to live. The only wrong way is to expect others to be soulless replicas of yourself. A world in which everyone is a clone of one another is not a world worth living. Diversity is what makes life interesting. Different interests, abilities, tastes, preferences, learning, appearances . . . That is why we are here. Without diversity, it would be a very dull world.

Injustice should never be accepted, and laws/rules are not always right. Consider every rule which has since been removed or altered. Consider those which you might not agree with.

When a rule is reasonable and necessary, it should be followed. This occurs through explaining the reason for expectations, and by recognising the importance behind involving students and children in decision-making. If a person understands why a rule exists and the fairness is evident, they are more likely to adhere to the rule.

We are overdue for a change in attitudes. Society needs to step up and stop telling survivors to accept what is wrong because of who someone is. Start telling the abuser to behave better. Start demanding better.

Who is NOT responsible for the actions of perpetrators?

• Children.
• Students.
• Women.
• Men.
• Trans.
• Non-binary.
• Survivors.

Who IS responsible for the actions of perpetrators?

• The perpetrator.

It is that simple. The only person responsible and to blame is the person who couldn't control themselves. The person who believed their wants were more important than someone else's choices. Abusers do not garner respect due to a role, title, or position. They fail to earn it when they abuse their power, and they need to be called out and challenged. Lest we permit mistreatment.

We must stand up and push back.

We must say, 'this is not okay'.

We must act in the face of injustice.

We must call for respect for all, not only a select few.